Blogger Issues Again?????

After spending my weekend getting a taste of what many live Monday through Friday, I returned home this evening wanting to write.

I had a revelation today as I got a taste of what life is like for many working people. At the end of the day, you would love to come home to a good, healthy, home-cooked meal but you do not necessarily want to have to be the one to cook it.

I decided to make a new post to my food blog, was happy with what I wrote so I hit publish.

Nothing.

Grrrrr.

It is in my drafts but I am unable to publish it. Maybe it is a sign that my huge revelation is not all that special.

I always heard that writers should write about what they know. This has been what motivates me to continue writing. Whenever I would accept assignments on topics that involved research (because I lacked the knowledge) I found writing to be a chore.

Like many people, I am seeking to live my dream. My dream is to be employed doing something that I enjoy.

Maybe tonight I just need to rest up because tomorrow is another day. I have plenty to do and I will need all my energy.

The blog post can wait.

Putting my Dreams on Hold

Re-discovering writing saved me. It helped me to have something to do with all that was going on in my mind.

Unemployment can cause a person to experience a variety of emotions; most of them negative, but for me, it was almost exciting.

It gave me the chance to explore new opportunities and was another chance to reinvent myself.

After almost 3 years of it, I think I was finally reaching a place of self-discovery where everything was starting to make sense. My goals became clearer and I had more moments of hope that this venture was going to pay the bills.

Then, as life often happens, everything changed.

This morning I begin training for a job that I honestly don't want. I have to suck it up and do what I need to do because honestly, the money just hasn't been good enough for me to continue on the path that I was on.

Although I have learned a lot in the past 2 1/2+ years, I haven't been able to put into place all these lessons. My chance is over and now I regrettably must re-enter a world where I was never happy.

The world I must re-enter is that of punching a clock.

I am a free spirit. I am also a rebellious spirit.

I am also a woman who lives in sometimes severe chronic pain and the idea of having to work a full time job and cope with that pain, well, I just don't know how I am going to manage.

So, why am I even trying?

Sometimes in life you get to a place where you must let go of your dreams. You have to face the reality of your "real" life situation and do what you must to survive.

I will miss the freedom that I have had these past years.

I have made many friends online and learned an awful lot about life.

I know that many of them are able to do both. They work outside the home and still manage to write. Unfortunately I do not see that happening to me. There just will not be the time.

Because of my disability, the stress of work will probably exhaust me as it did in the past. I am not superwoman and I cannot do it all. I may be able to write a blog post now and again but that is about it.

I am sad. I don't want to give up my writing, my Etsy store, my craft making but there just isn't enough hours in the day.

As I write this blog post, I realize that I do not have much of a following and when my web presence disappears, not too many people will even notice.

It doesn't matter. Writing is therapeutic and I need to have my say.

It may sound self-pitying and I certainly do not want pity. I am just disappointed with the way things have turned out for me. I am scared about the near future and not happy about having to give up what I have enjoyed in order to take orders from a boss, doing stuff that in the grand scheme of things means nothing.

I hope that I touched many with my articles ( feedback tells me I did) and that meant everything to me. I may not have gotten rich doing it, but it meant so much to help someone.

Life is full of changes and the best I can do is to put on a good attitude and look at this new change as a new adventure.

Sending a Message to Facebook

Facebook has done it again.

The latest round of changes has even the national media talking. Is this all just a ploy by Facebook to get attention?

Let's look at it this way.

99% of us HATE the changes. They are confusing and although Facebook says they are trying to make the social network site more "emotional" and enhance the users experience, it is making many formerly faithful Facebookers quit.

The truth is that many cannot help but stay with Facebook. No matter what changes they make, we complain but we continue to update our status.

Personally Facebook is my way of keeping in touch with people, promoting my writing and my Etsy store and since the changes, I feel like I have lost touch with people.

I am sure that I missed out on something but not quite sure what that is.

I will continue to autopost my articles, blog posts and promote my items for sale without even logging onto Facebook.

You see I am hoping that in the meantime, Facebook will come to their senses and undo these changes.

No need for me to update my status because if I am not seeing my friends' updates, surely they are not seeing mine.

What do you think about Facebook's changes?

Opening New Doors

Okay, I admit it. I procrastinated and now I am paying for it.

I knew for weeks (yes, weeks) that my satellite receiver was on its way out.

I ignored it.

I mean, who really wants to get on the phone with Dish Network and either try to get someone who doesn't speak English to understand your technical problem or spend 30 minutes or more of your life getting frustrated?

As it turns out, that was me on Friday morning. After getting back from an uncomfortably long ride for a medical exam that took about 5 minutes, I had no choice but to call Dish Network. The reset button was no longer working and I needed help.

After about 40 minutes on the phone with some guy whose name I cannot spell nor pronounce, I was switched to some guy with a heavy Southern accent who told me I would need a new receiver and it would be shipped within 3 to 5 BUSINESS days.

It is only Monday and it feels like a month.

Not that I am a television addict because I am not. Being self-employed I have my habits. GMA in the morning while I check my mail.

ABC soaps in the afternoon while I write, promote or work on crafts that I sell. Without the background noise, I am lost.

My teenage daughter has been putting Japanese anime on through Netflix and although it can be amusing at times, it is all subtitled.

I think I am turning Japanese.

She is determined to view the entire series- 27 episodes?

I had to find a way to distract myself so I started to Squidoo again.

While I have all this energy to burn and a lack of focus, I have done a few new lenses and reworked some that I have ignored.

I have made less than $5 since I have been on Squidoo but honestly, I haven't given it much effort. My writing eggs were in too many baskets.

Right now, my procrastinating has allowed me to rediscover a site that everyone seems to think is great. I figure by the time Christmas comes around I should see the fruits of my labor. (fingers crossed) Currently I am at a level 39 with 11 trophies and 26 featured lenses (11 in progress? what was I thinking??)

Honestly, I might live through this time without television. I can watch my soaps online after all.

Motivation

Writing saved my sanity (what was left of it) when I lost my job at the end of 2008.

There were other benefits to writing web content and one of them was my friendship with Dena Bolton. We just clicked and although she lived in Tennessee and I live in New Jersey, we still managed to email several times daily and talk on the phone.

We kept each other motivated and pushed each other to reach higher with our writing. Setting goals, friendly competition and discovering new opportunities were something we got excited about.

We did more than talk writing and helped each other through the challenges of our lives.

When Dena first started to feel "off" she fought it. She continued to write and continued to be one of those rare people who were always there to help with advice and suggestions.

We continued to have daily challenges to increase our views, content and keep each other motivated although she was sometimes in too much discomfort to work.

Then Dena was gone.

She had had cancer and within 2 weeks of finding out, she was gone.

I was stunned.

When reality set in, it took me time to deal with the grief. We were friends. We talked about our dreams, our goals. Her life was full but there was so much more she wanted to do. It just wasn't fair and I couldn't get over that.

Knowing Dena I knew that she would not want me feeling this way. I pushed the grief deep inside and tried to go on.

It just wasn't the same.

Although I have made other writing friends, the connection that Dena and I had was unique. Honestly I didn't want another friend like Dena. It just hurt too much to say goodbye.

Now I felt all alone. I have a great, loving relationship with my husband but as many writers can identify with- he does not have a CLUE what writing web content is about.

Being unemployed for so long and honestly, not getting out of the house too often, I am isolated.

I have a close-knit family but the void left from Dena's death cannot be filled.

It has taken me several months to realize what has been missing.

I have questioned if I should even write anymore. It just has been so hard at times. I couldn't understand why.

Suddenly today I realized what has been missing.

Dena was my motivator as I was hers. She kept me going when I wanted to give up. She made me believe in myself when I doubted my abilities. It was fun to have someone to compete against in doing something I really enjoyed.

That is gone now.

I know that Dena watches. My garden was never as healthy as it was this year. Dena was a master gardener and I know she looked out for me this year.

Life is different now without Dena. I feel almost silly talking about what a void her death has made in my life. Certainly for Rick (her husband) and her children the void must be much larger. Somehow they are managing to go on.

My isolation is greater than I realized. At times my anxiety has bordered on turning into agoraphobia and it takes all my willpower to fight it.

Maybe what I really need is to get out of this house but I honestly have nowhere to go. My finances are tight and it just feels easier to sit here in front of my laptop.

Right about now I miss my friend who surely would give me grief about what I have allowed myself to turn into.

I am not going to quit writing. I may take breaks from it but I keep on coming back.

I know Dena would want me to work towards my goals. It is time for me to find that motivation again and work towards it.

I am a fighter too. I will find the motivation again.

Balancing Work With Pleasure

Writing is more than a source of income for many writers. It is a passion.

When a writer begins to pay too much attention to views, residuals and starts comparing their achievements to other writers panic can set in. It can ruin the creative process and turn the pleasure of writing into a chore.

Writing web content and blogging is just one of the ways that I make money. Having given up on finding a job outside of my home (and realizing I am much better suited for work-at-home projects) it has taken me time to figure out a work plan that fits my life.

Not everyone is afforded the luxury of a private home office and in my case, I have a disability that makes it impossible to sit at a traditional desk and spend hours writing.

Living in a household that can be chaotic at times adds to my challenge. It can be frustrating to have words flowing through my brain, itching to get out but having several family members around chatting and distracting me from what I need to do.

I have learned through trial and error what works for me. When my plans fall flat I have learned to accept what I cannot change. If a day or two goes by and I do not produce any new content I have learned to not beat myself up about it. There really are more important things in life.

Somehow over the past few years I have turned into a morning person. I take advantage of this by using my time wisely. Writing while everyone is asleep means I can focus and enjoy the peace and quiet.

Once everyone is awake and around the house, I use the time to promote my work. It is easy to do this even while carrying on a conversation.

I am also finding more time to read blog posts and articles from some of my favorite online writing friends. Instead of spending valuable writing time reading multiple articles from strangers I instead stick with reading what I enjoy. Every once in a while I find someone new and that is usually thanks to one of my online writing friends promoting someone else's work.

My other self-employment project is my Etsy store. It took a lot of hard work to list over 150 items but the hard part is over. I am making sales and will continue to do so as long as I schedule in promoting time. Balancing it all is becoming second nature to me.

I am not making enough money to replace my paycheck yet but I am hopeful. Rome wasn't built overnight. It takes time to build a presence on the Internet and develop a following.

If you are just entering the self-employment world or have been at it for a while, my advice is to believe in yourself. Realize that you may be spending more time at whatever your passion is before you see real profits. If you are enjoying what you are doing it won't bother you as much.

When the day comes that it all feels like a chore- walk away. Give yourself a break from it and once you feel fresh again go back to it.

I recently did this because of some real-life issues that were going on. Although I know that residual income is not what it used to be, I stopped worrying about it. I took care of me for a while. It was needed.

I am now ready to throw myself back into the hard work that it is going to take to be a success at my chosen profession.

I visualize myself earning more and coming up with more creative ways of earning money. I am taking the time to learn from others and that helps to motivate me to believe in myself.

Work can be enjoyable and if it is not, well then maybe you are not doing the right thing.

Writers Supporting Writers

When I first got started writing web content, I spent an awful lot of time reading, rating, commenting and promoting other writers' work.

I "met" a few writers who I still communicate with and a handful of important friendships remain.

I discovered that many people's goals as a writer varied from mine as did their experience and niche. It seems in the years that I have been doing this I have naturally gravitated towards those writers whose writing I find inspiring, interesting and helpful.

There is a writer that I did not become "friendly" with until quite some time after I had first seen her work. She writes a blog (among other projects) that really was helpful to me. "Emma Riley Sutton is Keyword Crazy" put in simple terms some of the "language" that a newbie needs to figure out the world of web content writing.

She wrote on various topics all having to do with writing online.

Emma also is a woman who has been fighting the government to receive Social Security benefits. As someone with a disability myself, I felt for her plight. Emma (according to what she told me) supported her family through her online writing efforts and although she lives in Oklahoma where it is cheaper to live than it is here in New Jersey, I was still impressed by her spunk.

Emma is also a Christian and proud of it. Although I have to admit at times I am turned off by some of her posts, I respect her strong faith and beliefs.

So, why am I writing about Emma? Well, since day one I have seen how the online community of writers support each other. Emma is in need of help right now.

She recently became a single mom and homeless. I have known several writers who through no fault of their own have gone through a rough spot in their lives. As a fellow writer who knows that without views you do not earn, I try to promote their work to help them receive some kind of income while they struggle to get back on their feet.

I am asking anyone who reads this post (and I am not blessed yet with a large following so pass it on) to check out one of Emma Riley Sutton's articles. She has a great sense of humor and it will not be a chore to give 5 minutes of your time to read one of her articles. In return you will be helping a fellow writer and her young daughter.

Emma's generosity to fellow writers is known by many. Let's give back to this giving woman who needs an extra hand right now.

You can find Emma on Helium, Associated Content, ListMy5 or check out her blog
http://www.keywordcrazy.blogspot.com/

Thanks!

Contemplating my Chosen Path

I chose to dedicate my time to writing web content and blogs after many unsuccessful attempts at finding a "real" job.

My life is complicated; that is not anything new. Writing seemed like a good idea at the time.

Being disciplined is not a problem, the problem for me is what to do when the dry spells come.

For me, a dry spell means that although I may feel like writing when I sit down and attempt it- it just isn't working. I ramble or I cannot stay on topic. Other times I feel depressed and so scattered that my brain has trouble with making sense.

Once the feelings pass and I decide to get back to business, I start to contemplate whether writing was just a "phase". Maybe I am not cut out to write anymore. Maybe it was just something that I needed to get out of my system and now I am ready to move on to something else.

I am the Jill of all trades and master of none. I have accepted any position that has come my way only because the idea of learning something new and the challenge is so exciting to me.

I am starting to feel like maybe writing was just another one of the opportunities that came my way and although I may dabble in it from time to time, it is not meant for me to continue full time as I was.

So Priscilla Benfield Writes may just become another one of those "outlets" that I will turn to when I need a break.

I am excited about finding that next door to open. I wonder what will be waiting on the other side?