Dread

7 a.m. A load of laundry going through the wash cycle vibrates throughout the house. While I wait patiently (impatiently really) for my teenager to get out of bed I decide to see if I can write a new post to my blog. Distracting myself from the feeling of dread that is creeping up fighting to overcome me, I keep telling myself "just one more day". Funny thing is that before I started working this temporary CSR assignment I didn't have feelings of dread in the morning. I looked excitedly towards writing every day. Sometimes writing could be so addicting that it was hard to stop and take a break. Not so with my new position. I started off my morning with the normal routine of checking my email while I have my coffee. Of course there was an email from one of the "supervisors" from my job. It seems that a package was returned because the address contained symbols which made it undeliverable. A part of me wanted to respond angrily but I stopped myself. Best to just ignore it. It is not my job to ship packages, I take orders. Did no one in the shipping department notice the address had these symbols on it? Somehow it falls back to me. Honestly, on my end, I did not notice anything unusual. There probably was a glitch in the system but it is easier to place blame on the "new" person. If one package was returned, I am sure there will be more. So here I am venting through my blog about the bullsh#@ that a work-from-home call center rep deals with. This is NOT what I want to be doing. Does it make me feel better? Not really. Just one more 6 hour shift to get through before I have 2 days off from this nonsense. I will have 2 mornings where I will wake up, excited to throw myself into writing passionately about whatever strikes me at the moment. My head is swimming with ideas that I hope I can do justice. As I listen to customers complain today and field the calls of stupid questions, in my mind I will be thinking about what really fuels my passion. What it is that I really enjoy. Not many writers are able to survive financially off of their writing. Many of us have to do things for money that we rather would not do. I guess it is paying my dues but I have to learn how to not let it destroy me. One day at a time.